[For Ines] "That's Just Damn Weird..."

[death_kl0wn]

He should have known that being a spy would involve some strange stuff, but he didn't expect the discovery he'd hit upon.

In the course of spying on the Warden, for Ines, Ryuk has had his weirdest discovery. Something that has quite simply broken his rather simple brain. He knew humans were weird by shinigami standards, but he didn't think they were *this* weird.

He's currently hiding on top of one of the cabinets in the main room, muttering to himself, some untouched apples next to his head as he lays with his spidery legs and arms dangling down.

"This is just damn weird... this is just too damn weird..."

Looking for an Ines (though if anyone else wants a Ryuk, feel free to tap the typist)! And there will be quite weird revelations from the weirded out shinigami....

Comments

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

Ines was reading in the main room when she heard the muttering and that familiar rasp.

"Ryuk?" she asks, "you seem to have seen the devil."

She'd expect him to be amused, but he looks quite out of sorts...

[death-kl0wn.livejournal.com]

Ryuk sticks his head over the edge of the cabinet, a grin crossing his face. "Hiya, Ines," he says, a little less weirded than before. "Ain't seen the devil, but I found out something damn weird about our buddy the Warden.

"He's a dad now. Got a little girl, but that ain't the weird part. Well, except that baby humans look like little monkeys with no fur. The weird part is who carried the kid for 'um."

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

"Is that so?"

Ines, for a moment, is torn between amusement and unadulterated, pure, evil, dark jealousy.

Her tone remains detached.

[death-kl0wn.livejournal.com]

"Oh yeah, his kid's mom is a guy, some big, ugly mook from a different planet or some time in the future, or both, I dunno," Ryuk says. "Looks human, but I ain't so sure now: guy's got so many death dates whirlin' around his head, it makes me *dizzy* to look at."

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

"Ah." Ines meanwhile is starting to seethe.

"You are telling me the Warden had a baby. With another man."

Just to be sure, here.

[death-kl0wn.livejournal.com]

"Oh, yeah, that," Ryuk says, his train of thought getting back on track. "Dunno what's more weird: that the Warden is a dad, or that his kid's mom is also another dad. An' I dunno if I wanna know how that's possible," he adds, looking weirded out.

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

Ines just... stares.

"That's just biologically impossible, Ryuk."

Pause.

"You're lying."

[death-kl0wn.livejournal.com]

"Well, the guy's from another planet, or sez he is, so maybe they've got different plumbing on that planet," he says, shrugging vastly. "Or maybe he was wunna them girls that had surgery to look like a guy, but left the plumbing intact? The humans got that now, where I come from."

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

"Ryuk."

Ines sounds like she's trying to warn a Death God.

"Stop it."

[death-kl0wn.livejournal.com]

He'll stop blithering, his head tilted. "Huh? Somethin' I said?" he asks, innocently, but on him, any innocence looks really fake.

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

"If you think making up tall tales will earn you more apples and smiles, Ryuk, you're sorely mistaken!"

[death-kl0wn.livejournal.com]

He rolls one shoulder in a shrug. "I'm only tellin yah, what I know an' what I see," he replies. "Yah don't believe me, ask the Warden. Or ask the guy who had the kid."

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

"Fine."

Ines crosses her arms, visibly angry.

"Find them for me."

[death-kl0wn.livejournal.com]

"Ain't seen the Warden lately, might be busy buildin' his jail," he says. "Might be able to scare him up, though: he likes me. And the guy that had the kid has some kind of nightwatch route in the house."

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

"Find me the Warden," Ines replies. "And I will find this other man. Who is he?"

[death-kl0wn.livejournal.com]

"Gotcha. The guy goes by the name Jack Harkness, but I know his *real* name," he says. "Gimme an apple an' I'll tell it to you. That'd get a rise out've 'um."

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

"You're so amenable," Ines replies, smirking. Apple goes up, apple goes down. "Tell me."

[death-kl0wn.livejournal.com]

He'll hover closer. "His real name is Jax [Redacted]." Canon and Word of God have kept the guy's full true name from the viewers, though given one 51st century surname for another character, it might be a bit of a mouthful.

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

"Noted," and indeed it is. "Shall we reconvene tomorrow? I'm going to go find this one fellow."

Wrap up on yours, new post?

[death-kl0wn.livejournal.com]

"Heh-heh-heh. You got it: tell me if yah skeer the guy with what yah got on him," he says, and he'll go on his way, chuckling to himself.

Perfect way to scare a guy whose death dates broke his brain...

Is a wrap! Shall I make ye post or would you prefer to do the honors??

[x-postal-ines.livejournal.com]

If you could? <3

[51stcentry-jack.livejournal.com]

And here we go!